Torrey KurtznerinThe HavenThe Twerk-Off Before Christmas’Twas the night before Christmas, when at the North Pole, a twerk-off was brewing between two iconic souls15 min read·Dec 18, 2022----
Torrey KurtznerinDoctor FunnyForbidden Love and Frosted TipsAn eccentric chef. A washed-up pop star. Both men were hungry for love. It was only a matter of time before their frosted tips ignited the…8 min read·Oct 11, 2022--5--5
Torrey KurtznerinThe HavenI’m Your Two-Year-Old Nephew, and I’ve Come Here to Fuck Up Your ShitDo you have an expensive piece of technology I could vomit on? Preferably something that’s not insured?3 min read·Jul 30, 2021----
Torrey KurtznerinThe HavenIdentifying the Presidential Qualifications and Political Values of Each TeletubbyThe following political analysis was constructed after watching over twenty hours of Teletubbies content3 min read·May 27, 2021--1--1
Torrey KurtznerinThe HavenI’m the Year 2021, and I’m Begging You to Keep Your Expectations in CheckFolks, try to remember that I’m just a measurement of time. I can’t solve your problems.2 min read·Feb 8, 2021--1--1
Torrey KurtznerinThe HavenYou’d Better Watch OutAs COVID cases continue to spiral out of control, UN secretary-general Guterres urges world leaders to cancel Christmas. Despite this, a…6 min read·Dec 14, 2020----